The Things I Do For Love

Hiroko opens the door to her apartment, trying to avoid making the door hinge squeak. The house was dark, except for the living room television. From the kitchen, she tried to make the words out while placing her purse on the counter and taking out a bottle. Her heels clack against the tiles, which sound ten times louder at night. One foot in front of the other as she walks with a whimsical sway. The hallway carpet subdues the sound her heels make. 

Hiroko stares at the television as Mani watches Courage from the doorway. Their cat, Willow, sits in his lap as he pets her.

“I used to love Courage as a kid. My dad was always laughing at it, but my mom thought it’d give me nightmares, so she told him to stop,” Hiroko says

“How was the party?” Mani cuts her off. He tilts his head up, staring at her upside down. “Must have been fun considering you were supposed to be here four hours ago.” 

“I got you a beer. It’s the fancy kind. I stole it.” Hiroko says, a grin stretching across her face

She walks over to the couch and sits on the armrest. She slides the beer bottle over to him slowly, and as he tries to grab it, she pulls it back.  

“I danced with Micah. It was nice.” She stares at his face as it crinkles. His chest rises in quick succession as he tries to study her loopy facial expression—nothing but a drunken smile. He forces a smile on his face.

“You think I cheated on you, don’t you?” Mani opens his mouth, but the next set of words was already in play, “Let me guess what’s going through your head. I’m getting chit-chatting with Erin, and then Micah walks over to me, asking for a dance. I’m on my 3rd drink, you know that’s when I get tipsy and say the most outlandish things. Erin tells him off, but I accept his offer.  A man like him, a man with broader shoulders than you, and a soothing voice. He wraps his hands around my waist, tight. I wrap my hands around his neck and interlock them under the yellow fairy lights. We’re slowly swaying to the beat of So Anxious by Ginuwine, staring deeply into each other’s eyes. You envy his soft and gentle gaze. More than ever, you wish you were there because he’s going to ask about you. You wish I’d mention that you’re at the party so he doesn’t do anything slippery, but you aren’t. I tell him you aren’t here, and he pulls me in ever so closer.” Hiroko stops and looks over at Mani. Tears want to well up in his eyes. She runs her hand through his dreads. She flashes a smile at him. “His hands slide down my waist.  And then, I tell him that you proposed to me. All that tension breaks. His hands move back up as the song ends, and Erin asks to pull me away for a moment.”

“That’s not what’s going on in my head. You sound like you're confessing.”  Mani manages to speak. 

“That’s silly.” Hiroko giggles, “I’m just- I’m just testing you like the old times.”

“We’re engaged. There’s nothing to fight for. ” Mani raises two fingers and interlocks them. 

“I’m still competing for you, though. Me vs. the 300 girls you follow on Instagram. It’s not fair, is it? None of them looks like me either. They’re black with curly hair and snatched waists. And it sounds so unreasonable to ask you if I’m really your type or you’re just trying to do charity.”

 

“It’s all professional, it’s my job. And if you weren’t my type, I wouldn’t be dealing with you at 2:00 in the morning on a Monday.” Mani jerks as he talks, and Willow jumps off his lap and runs to the kitchen.

“I’m sorry that I’m keeping you up from your job where you take pictures of half-naked women all day. How will you ever perform to your best ability?” Hiroko pouts

Mani stands up. He walks around the couch. Hiroko pushes herself up against the couch and stands. The TV lights flicker across their faces as they stand face-to-face. With heels, Hiroko is about his height. 

“Is this what you’ve been trying to spit out? Are you jealous of my job? The job you had five years ago that you didn’t like, but you just kept encouraging me. I would’ve quit for you five years ago. I like what I do. Just because you're miserable doing your job. I love you, and I wish you weren’t so stubborn to notice.” Mani’s voice begins to crack.

“Remember when we went to see my mom right before she passed. It was a Thursday. In the hospital, it was probably a normal day for them, right? The newbies probably cry for an hour, while the veterans know the protocol. They watch old people die every day. They’re used to comforting relatives, and despite my knowing that, there was this one guy who checked in on her. He pulled me out of the room for a private conversation. For all 2 minutes, I spoke to him. He looked me straight in the eyes, didn’t break eye contact for a second. He touched my arm with his soft hands, and he gave me the worst fucking news I have ever heard. And still I was willing to throw 5 years away for him in an instant, because I know the only time I feel loved is when you are fighting for me. But what if you lost? Do I really want to go home with that, or do I want to be loved by you? I don’t want to be your easy-to-keep wife. I want your heart at my feet.”

Mani grabs the bridge of his nose and shuts his eyes tight. Hiroko extends the beer and shoves it into his chest. He snatches the bottle and sits on the head of the couch as she fades away down the hallway, and the bedroom door snaps into its latch, which makes Mani flinch. Courage gives his stupid catchphrase, “The things I do for love.”